An Empty Wallet Is No Excuse

Passion soared when I read this Facebook comment:

Being a writer is my dream. But I can’t afford to take writing classes.

I was not the only one to reply. The following list includes points made in other responses along with additional thoughts of my own:

• Anyone who makes words visible on screen or paper is a writer. You do not need to be published.
• Your local library is full of books about how to write.
• The web is full of blogs, tutorials, newsletters, free webinars, and other resources to sharpen writing skills.
• Whether you can afford to take classes or not, find a local writing group. I summarize their benefits in this post.
• Do a web search to look for a group, and also ask at your library. All the dozen-plus successful memoir/lifestory writing groups I’ve been involved with have been library sponsored.
• Keep an eye open for free or nearly so classes. Senior centers and community colleges are likely locales.
• Online writing groups may be as good or better than local ones.
• Check sites like the ones on this list for free on-line writing classes targeted to specific skill topics.
• Search for “free online memoir writing courses” to find free classes and groups. Caveat: free classes are often a come-on for pricey follow-up classes and/or coaching services. Take advantage of what you can get and keep expectations low.

So, you see, you can learn to write well with an empty wallet. Don’t put it off. Start now. Eventually you can even publish for absolutely free via CreateSpace and Kindle, though you’re likely to attract more readers with a small investment in a good cover and some editing beyond what your writing group and beta readers can give you. Your own efforts are perfectly acceptable for limited family and friends’ distribution.

Beyond any thoughts of publication, WRITING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH. I’ve written extensively about that, especially in my archived blog, Writing for the Health of It.

Now you know an empty wallet is no excuse. What else might be holding you back from following your dream of becoming a writer?

Image by Damon D’Amato, http://ow.ly/vzrI30f4kMT, used by permission via Creative Commons license.

Write Away Election Stress, part 2

In my previous post I touched on Expressive Writing as a way of dealing with post-election stress. I need to expand on that. Writing for stress relief takes more than one form, and spontaneous writing in real time is best known as journaling.

I can attest from personal experience that journaling my heart out has been hugely helpful in coming to grips with anger, confusion, and other chaotic emotions. I highly recommend it, and if your topic is a tender one that could cause the chaos to spread of others near and dear to you happened to read it, write it into the fireplace, or the shredder, or delete the file.

As great and powerful as journaling is, I’m not aware of any studies showing that it has long-term health benefits. Nor is it reliably useful for calming currently chaotic emotion.

Expressive writing is especially powerful for resolving stressful memories after the fact. This research was pioneered by James Pennebaker and expanded upon in over 200 replications in situations ranging from prison populations to cancer patients and outplaced high tech industry personnel.

In Pennebaker’s original research, people were asked to write about “a trauma, emotional upheaval, or unsettling event that has been influencing your life, spinning obsessively in your mind, and maybe keeping you awake at night” for twenty minutes on each of four consecutive days.

Subsequent studies have found similar results by having people write for as little as five minutes. They have scaled the four days back to one or two. They’ve left it consecutive and spread it out. Research in other directions sheds even more light.

Almost without exception, results showed durable health benefits. In the case of the tech workers, the ones who wrote according to the experimental protocol found new jobs significantly sooner faster than the control group.

So in concert with what I posted last week, I urge you to journal about current fears and frustration. In a few months or more, if it’s still troubling you, switch to the Pennebaker Process. Meanwhile, if journaling current stuff triggers traumatic old memories, do the four day routine with them now.

In fact, most readers here are writing lifestories anyway. Part of the healing value of expressive writing is the way it turns endless rumination loops into coherent story with context and meaning. So take this process one step further and turn the results of those 20 minute sessions into a coherent, meaningful story worthy of passing along.

Write for the health of it!

Image credit: Prawny, posted on https://morguefile.com/creative/Prawny

Write Away Election Stress

As much as we’d like to forget it all, it’s hard. Who can forget the finger pointing, the name calling, the conversations you tried not to have before November 8? We hoped it would end the next day, but we knew, most of us knew anyway, that it wouldn’t.

Here we are now, stressed, burned out and perhaps more divided than ever. Half the country is rejoicing that they managed to Trump the so-called self-righteous, socialistic feminists represented by That Woman. “Change is finally possible,” they crow. “We can get back to true values, to democracy as it was intended to be.” And on it goes.

On the flip side are those who were Hillary’s True Believers as well as many who may not have preferred That Woman, but they claim a trained seal would be better than that devious, inexperienced, misogynistic bully. The sudden triumph of Trump seemed unimaginable and that half of the country is in deep mourning, highly traumatized.

“How can they believe all that stuff?”

“How can they just throw out all the progress we’ve made?”

And on it goes.

We’ll see how things unfold in the future, but for the present, our collective national life stress index is off the map.

The medical community has been warning us about the negative health effects of stress for over fifty years. We know it leads to cardiovascular problems, lowered immunity, depression, and a host of other ills. So what's a person to do? Lists of stress management techniques abound. A search for "stress management" turned up 16 million links. WebMD has two pages of tips, and many more of links and articles.

Fortunately, one of the simplest ways to offset the stressful effects of trauma is to pick up pen and paper and write about your thoughts, feelings, fears and perceptions. Original research showed that writing for as little as twenty minutes about troubling topics may boost your immune system and lead to numerous health benefits reversing the ravages of stress. Research has repeatedly shown enhanced cardio-vascular function, lower blood pressure, reduced asthma and arthritis symptoms, decreased need for pain medication in many instances, and more. Emotional health benefits such as relief from depression, better sleep, and enhanced sense of well-being are also common.

More recent studies have shown measurable results from writing for five or ten minutes a day, or even writing once for a few minutes. It’s undeniably clear that expressive writing is good for your health! Expressive writing is not a panacea intended to replace medical care, but it often serves as an effective adjunct, enhancing effects of any treatment you may undergo. It's affordable for anyone, and can be done anywhere.

In our current situation, you can make it even more effective by expanding your writing to include attempts to understand the perspective of those on the other side of the electoral divide. Think and write as deeply about their fears, hopes and concerns as you do your own. You may find you have more in common than you imagined. You may discover deeper compassion for others as well as your self and begin to rebuild community that may have suffered over the last several months.

Please leave a comment about ways you are using writing to recover from election stress, along with any other tips you may have.

Tip for Surviving Change

This could be a picture of our belongings heading west to Texas on a South  Hills Movers truck, presumably before the end of the  year.  Moving is complicated and stressful. When I added things up on the classic Holmes and Rahe stress scale, I found that I’m not far from the boiling point of 300.

• I have a seemingly impossible To-Do list to get the house ready to list with a realtor by our target date.
• I’m having to pull away from my cherished writing groups and classes and other friends.
• I’m already missing the home I’ve loved for thirty years.
• My mate of 52 years baffles and enrages me at times (and keeps me laughing at others).
• And ye gods, the thought of finding the right house in Austin and getting the deal done in a timely manner and all the work of settling in … YIKES!

Of course there’s so much to look forward to:

• More time with granddaughters and extended family there.
• Connections with new friends (Austin is a friendly place).
• A chance to reboot writing groups down there – or not.
• A lovely new home to settle into.
• Fresh chile and tortillas easily available.
• Amazing food stores.
• The impeccable service of South Hills Movers.
• Finding things I’d forgotten I have.

Making a list is daunting. At this point, pressure and unknowns far outweigh the obvious rewards. It seeems like I keep falling off my raft as I go through this white water stretch on the river of life.

So what’s a person to do when it’s time to start packing, hold a garage sale, fill out a couple of reams of forms to list and buy a house, schedule inspections, fix a few more things … ?

JOURNAL!

I say I don’t have time to write. But I make time to journal. Journaling is like taking vitamins. It’s good for your health. Even ten minutes is good. I need to rest my back anyway. I journal to keep track of what’s going on. I include lessons learned: tips for cleaning, mistakes to avoid, messes I found and more. I journal about frustrations when I’m convinced that yesterday  we agreed to do X, and today he informs me that’s not even close… it all goes in the journal, along with dreams of how things will be when we get there and gratitude for the kindnesses of people here.

I would not be surprised to find that journal turning into a memoir of this move. But not soon. I need time to process. And right now I must climb back on that raft and load a few boxes. I’ll keep you posted now and then, but not often.

Write now: Write about a stressful time in your life and how you survived. Share a few tips in comments.

Mouse Shoulder Break

I call it mouse shoulder. Doctors and physical therapists  talk about ulnar nerves. Whatever the technical term, it means I’ve been spending way too much time at my computer than is good for my body. My little finger tingles all the time. My shoulder hurts.

The good news is that I caught this early and it’s treatable, but not with pills. Pills can help, but they aren’t the answer. If I just take pills and power on through, it will continue to get worse. The bad news is that along with exercises, massage, and so forth, the treatment involves severely curtailing my time at the keyboard. That means cutting way back on blogging, Facebook, Forums, email, and all those things that have come to seem such necessary aspects of daily life.

Sometimes, wise people tell us, our bodies send us signals when change is needed. Those wise people urge us to pull out pen and paper and begin to dialogue with our affected parts. Oddly enough, writing by hand on a lap desk is still okay. This seems a clear message to spend extra time with my journal.

It’s a good time to plan, to make lists, to outline and organize, to do the creative parts of writing that are easy to overlook. It’s time to get out of a rut that’s beginning to wear deep. Raking leaves is good therapy. Painting walls. Going to the gym. Reading books.

So I’m taking a break for a week or few, and shall return when the time and shoulder feel write. Please get in touch with questions. I will check comments and email now and then.

Write now: pull out your journal and spend twenty minutes or more writing, by hand, on paper, about some physical symptom that annoys you. Let your body dictate the words as they flow freely onto the page. You may shift into dialogue. But don’t try to talk down the messages. These are jewels, as powerful as dreams. Listen and heed.

Image credit: Gray’s Anatomy via Wikipedia.

Fear of Exposure

I’ve done things in my life that I’m not proud of, and I’ve never told anyone about them. Do I have to write about those things in my lifestory?

I just read a memoir that left me with my mouth hanging open. I almost quit reading because of all the talk about sex, drugs and other stuff. Even if I’d lived through anything like that, I could never write about it. Is that what it takes to write a memoir?

This are typical questions about self-disclosure that I’m asked as a lifewriting coach and teacher. The simple answer is NO. If a subject gives you pause, respect that feeling. Don’t leave your comfort zone without good reason. The healthy thing to do is to write those stories in full detail. Spill your guts on the page, but keep it private at first. This will give you the health benefits of writing without the counter-acting stress of confrontations.

Once those stories are written, you have many options. You can burn the pages, or decide to delay sharing them. Depending on your relative ages, you may wait until those key players die to publish your work. But if you’re young and they aren’t old, another solution may be better. Here are a few considerations:

Look at the situation from other perspectives. You’ve probably only been thinking of this experience from your own point of view. Perhaps it looks quite different from the other person’s or the reader’s. Try experimenting by writing what you think the other person would say about it. You may find that it looks quite different, and your story may change as a result. This experiment may have additional value. In a recent IAJW member teleseminar James Pennebaker again emphasized that subjects in his research who adopted the most diverse points of view in their writing demonstrated the strongest health benefits.

Question your assumptions. Perhaps you overestimate the power of other people’s reactions. Perhaps some of your assumptions about what actually happened are a bit off-base. The techniques Byron Katie developed in The Work provide a simple process for challenging assumptions and beliefs.

Consider the value for readers. After reading several memoirs that were candid about the pain of feeling different during childhood, I’ve come to realize this is a much more common situation than I’d ever imagined, and I would not know that if those authors had not been brave enough to share their experience. As a result, I feel more comfortable openly joining their “club.”

Realize that reader attitudes are changing. Who doesn’t know that a vast sea of change has taken place over the course of a generation. My daughter’s generation could shock the socks off my mother’s with ordinary conversations among friends. They are more candid about nearly everything, and write accordingly. Even among those who are old enough to remember living conditions during World War II, many are disclosing things they would not have dreamed of telling fifty years ago.

Be compassionate with yourself. If you decide to admit to shortcomings or transgressions of various sorts, don’t just toss them out there and duck for cover. Include enough reflection to let the reader know what lessons you learned. Extend the same compassion and understanding to yourself that you would to a grandchild or any younger person who was feeling fears, pressures to conform, or general lack of insight similar to you experienced.

Never include anything simply for shock value. If, for example, your story involves sexual experiences, it’s okay to close the doors for privacy after the reader knows what’s going on behind them. Include only those details necessary to serve the purpose and move the story along.

These considerations barely brush the surface of this deep topic. For what promises to be a thought-provoking discussion about the issue of self-disclosure, sign up for the free NAMW telesummit on Friday, October 21 and dial in for the fourth session: Young Memoirists Talk about Truth, featuring Elisabeth Eaves, Nicole Johns, and Anna Mitchael. Everyone who signs up will receive an email link to listen to replays if you can’t dial in live.

Write now: think of a story you are afraid to share and work through the considerations above. You may still not want to share it, but I guarantee you’ll see the situation somewhat differently as a result.

Photo Credit: Wesley Oostvogels

Everyone Wins With Memoir

Last weekend at a panel discussion on various forms of electronic publishing, someone in the audience mentioned that the number of publishers listed as accepting fiction submissions in the current edition of Writer’s Market has shrunk dramatically from previous years. “Only a handful are interested,” she lamented.

This could be a sign of the turmoil currently swirling through the traditional publishing industry. Perhaps more significant is the surging shift of public preference toward memoir. It’s tippy to compare the memoir craze to the glut of reality show programming on television, but both feature presumably real people with the emphasis on real. Few people seriously believe reality shows aren’t scripted, but catch a memoir writer playing fast and loose with the facts, and the blogosphere conflagrates. People want to believe memoir is true. They relate to it.

Maybe the memoir mania springs from a sense of isolation due as people turn increasingly often to Facebook and text messages rather than personal contact. Memoir offers a sense of genuine connection with the author. Reading a memoir can offer hope to those in similar situations and reassurance to those who may see their own lives in a more positive light by comparison. Light or humorous memoir is pure fun to read.

Memoir may both entertain and benefit readers, but it benefits the author even more. I’m currently reading Growing Old, by Swiss psychoanalyst Danielle Quinodoz. The book focuses on the enormous value elderly people derive from reviewing their memories and attaining an integrated overview of their lives, for better or worse. Her observation is that people who are able to view their lives in this meaningful way experience more joy in living, especially in their last years. They tend to approach aging more actively, retaining curiosity and involvement with life and the people around them, and they are more likely to die peacefully and serenely.

As I read, I’m struck by the thought that this benefit of living more joyfully and meaningfully is available at any age, and although her focus is totally on psychoanalysis, the integrated overview she describes fits memoir perfectly.

I’ve written a number of posts here and on Writing for the Health of It about the physical and emotional health benefits of writing. The “raw” writing modes of freewriting and journaling are beneficial for exploration of specific issues. “Processed” writing in the form of stories and essays serve well to focus memories of events, people and reactions. Memoir draws on both raw and processed components to provide an integrated overview of a specific time or aspect of life, lending greater meaning and depth.

Psychoanalysis can lead to profound transformation for those who can afford it. The rest of us can invest in paper, pens, and maybe a few guidebooks (The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing is a great place to begin if you’re starting cold, and The Power of Memoir is superb). Taking a class, locally or online can help you hone your skills. You can enhance your results by joining a writing group specializing in life writing – start one if you can’t find one already meeting. Join an online group like the free Life Writers Forum or the National Association of Memoir Writers. Or find a writing coach to work with. You can work with a coach for a long time for a fraction of the cost of psychoanalysis.

However you do it, whether you publish your memoir or not, you’ll gain enormous perspective and insight on your life. You’ll win even if nobody ever reads it. But the time has never been better to publish your story. The publishing industry has never been more approachable, and the self-publishing option is wide open.

However you go about it, both you and your readers win with memoir.

Write Now: sign up for the NAMW Fall Telesummit

Photo credit: Lissalou66

A Blog Is Born

I am pleased to announce the birth of a new blog, Writing for the Health of It. Few regular readers will be surprised at this news, as I have included this concept in many posts here, and mentioned the Writing For the Health of It classes I teach.

The Heart and Craft of Life Writing blog will remain active, with one or two posts a week focusing on the process of writing. Writing for the Health of It will focus on the vast body of research exploring health benefits of expressive writing, and how those findings can be applied to the various forms of life writing. You are likely to find lots of cross-links because the boundaries are fuzzy and overlapping.

The new blog represents my growing understanding of the power of the life writing process. Perhaps like most of you, I began writing my lifestory primarily to document my experiences and insights for my family. I wanted to leave a written legacy of my life. I read books that mentioned personal insight and a sense of satisfaction as frequent outcomes of writing memoir. That sounded good and made sense, but it was not a primary goal for me, and though I paid the concept lip service, I really didn’t “get it.”

For eight or nine years I cranked out one vignette and essay after another, rather like a quilter practicing various designs on single squares. Someday, I told myself, I’ll sort through these squares and arrange them into a quilt — probably several quilts... But not just yet.

Eventually writing single pieces did become less satisfying. I’ll never exhaust the possibilities of all the stories I could write, but it was time to begin assembling them. My first finished product, The Albuquerque Years, fell together easily. You may have downloaded the eBook.

I’ve been tinkering with its sequel, A Los Alamos Girlhood, for a year now, and learned an enormous amount in the process. My most significant insights about the are detailed in my Los Alamos Girlhood blog that has lain dormant for a few months, but I do still post occasionally.

The other insight I have gained from writing short pieces and puzzling out the structure of Los Alamos Girlhood relates to the transformative power of digging more deeply into memoir and its component pieces. As I question memories and work to clarify my understanding of the past, chains of anxiety and other dark feelings are falling away, almost like magic. The experience has been much like washing the scum from time-crusted windows. My childhood looks much brighter and sunnier than I had realized.

That experience has led me to delve more deeply into the mysteries of the power of writing to make us whole, transform inner darkness to light, and heal broken hearts and spirits. Thus my triumvirate of blogs represents Heart (A Los Alamos Girlhood — my experience with writing), Craft (The Heart and Craft of Life Writing — how to write your story), and Health (Writing for the Health of It — how to tap the health benefits of writing).

Write now: take a break from writing. Click over to Writing for the Health of It and sign up for a subscription. As you scan the posts there, find an idea and use as a prompt for some writing practice.

Expert Advice: The Pro’s and the Con’s

If you haven’t discovered the TED Lecture series, I suggest you waste no time exploring their phenomenal videos about leading edge ideas, presented in TED sponsored programs.  I’ve embedded one of my favorites for your viewing pleasure. Noreena Hertz is an expert speaking on the dangers of becoming addicted to the advice of experts.

Her words appealed to me on just about every level, perhaps because I was raised in a family of die-hard do-it-yourselfers who lacked the resources of Google to solve every problem. We didn’t even go to the library. We just figured things out and did them! That’s a hard mental habit to shake.

Over the years I’ve come to have a healthy respect for those who know more than I do about any given topic, and I’m eager to benefit from their experience. But I’ve learned the hard way to listen to those skeptical whispers.

Those lessons are part of my Story. But the real tie-in for this video in this blog is an inferred message for writers in any genre. We can and should study the work of others. We’ll benefit from reading books about the craft of writing and taking classes to get more guidance. We’ll benefit from participating in writing and critique groups, forums, and writing organizations. We may even benefit from hiring editors and coaches.

BUT, when all the books, classes, and feedback are finished, regardless of the source, we need to listen to that little voice within reminding us, “This is my story.  This is what I need to say, and this is how I need to say it.” When it comes to your life, your Truth, YOU are the expert!

Speaking of experts, I modestly proclaim that I’m developing more than average expertise on the topic of the health benefits of expressive writing. Earlier this week “Writing With Feeling Feels Good,” my first post of a monthly series on this topic, debuted on the Women’s Memoirs site. The content is relevant to anyone, so you fellows are warmly invited to click over and take a look too. Don’t be deterred by the name. Matilda and Kendra assure me everyone is welcome.

Write now: do some journaling or free writing and conduct a written dialogue with your Inner Critic. Explore the whispers you hear urging you to defer to expert opinion. You may want to make this a round table and include your Inner Cheerleader to remind you of your own wisdom, power, voice and skill. Write about following the experts in your writing life and life in general. You may want to expand some “expert stories” into story form to share with others.

Love Letters — Good for Both Heart and Soul

Cupid has got to be behind this synchronistic web discovery. Just hours before St. Valentine’s Day I found a link to a PsyBlog post explaining that Affectionate Writing Can Reduce Cholesterol.

Previous posts here have explained how writing about trauma is good for your health, and also that writing about happy stuff is good for you. But love letters and affectionate notes had not made the list, and I have not previously seen reduced cholesterol linked with any form of expressive writing. This is great news!

Based on the simple report on PsyBlog, this study appears to be among the hundreds of variations on the Pennebaker research model that has people write for about twenty minutes on three to five occasions:

According to new research, writing down affectionate thoughts about close friends and family can reduce your cholesterol levels. Floyd et al. (2007) randomly assigned participants to one of two groups: one experimental and one control. The experimental group wrote with affection about one person in their lives for 20 minutes on three occasions over a five-week period. The control group wrote mundane descriptions of their activities over the week, jobs they had done and places they had lived.

(read full article)

Note that the experiment involved writing three times. I’m inclined to think that writing to more people, more often could amplify the results and have the same stress-reducing effect as keeping a Gratitude Journal. This could be worth turning into a habit or way of life!

Write now: pen a loving note to a special person in your life. For best results repeat often, at least once a week. You may get even stronger results by using pen and paper rather than sending an e-mail!

Picture: Sharon Lippincott © 2011

Puzzles, Choices, Truth and Story

This morning as I wrote in my journal a name flowed out onto the page along with the thought, “Which Truth is True?” I have many conflicting feelings about this person, whom I'll refer to as Heesh, because nothing about the identity of this person is important. On impulse I began listing “true statements” about Heesh.

• I admire Heesh.
• Heesh makes me nuts.
• Heesh sometimes says hurtful things.
• Heesh is a b... .
• Sometimes I avoid contact with Heesh.
• Heesh doesn't mean to be hurtful.
• I learn a lot from Heesh.
• Etc.

The list grew. Without conscious transition or intention, I began adding statements about my role in this relationship, the filters I perceive through. My filters subtly shifted as I realized the role they have been playing in my perceptions of this person. I became aware that I can choose filters. 

At some point my hand quit moving and I fell into a reverie, staring at the tiny lights on the small Christmas tree a few feet away. I became transfixed by the glow as it warmed the darkness of early morning. All thought ceased for a few delicious moments before I glanced at my list again. In those few moments it had been transformed. I no longer saw it as a list of paradoxes. I saw it as a picture with light and dark areas. All these things are Truth. It's possible to hold conflicting feelings, just not at the same time.

And … here was the payload: when one of those dark thoughts comes clouds the sky of awareness, I have the power to replace it with a neutralizing positive one. That does not make the dark one untrue. It simply makes me happier. I feel better. I feel strong. Making that list lit up my whole morning, and my view of Heesh.

I include details of this process to underscore the power of writing in a journal, but that wasn't the end of it. My thoughts moved on to stories. I've written a couple of short vignettes about Heesh in the past, each showing an isolated list element. Each is a scene showing behavior, without comment or reflection. I doubt that they'll ever be included in a volume for others to read, but writing them served the purpose of clearing my mind at the time. It felt good to get those stories nailed to the page. 

Now is a good time to follow through and write an expanded story that includes illustrations of each list item and some reflection on the evolution of my feelings toward and about Heesh. This story will deepen the narrative aspect of my morning's experience and perhaps solidify it to ensure a permanent shift in my filters to enhance the light rather than darkening it. This is in alignment with James Pennebaker's observation that research subjects who developed the strongest narrative and insight in their four days of writing showed the strongest indications of improved health. Such an involved story is more than I can dash off in thirty minutes, but it will be a good investment in my own growth and transformation.

By the way, this is not a co-dependent relationship. I might look at things differently if self-destructive behavior were involved.

Write now: think of a puzzling person you have conflicting feelings about and make a list as I did. Be prepared to shed a few cleansing tears between fond chuckles. If you don't feel cleansed and filled with light when you finish, you may want to spend a couple of days writing about the troublesome list elements until you work them through.

Mushrooms Grow in Manure

How often do you stop to think about the source of mushrooms when you slice one up for an elegant meal you’re preparing? Did you know that commercial mushrooms grow in manure in dark caves?

“Wait a minute,” you may be thinking. “Are you trying to spoil my dinner? And what on earth do mushrooms, manure and and caves have to do with life writing?”

More than you would have guessed. Mushrooms are a gourmet item, turning many a mundane meal into a foodie’s feast. Stories perform a similar function, perhaps livening conversation at that feast. Though not all stories have mushroom-like roots in dung, and not all originate in darkness, some of the most compelling ones do.

I mention this to urge you to look back through your life and explore a few of those dark moments you generally prefer to leave behind closed doors in the dungeon of memory. Grab a pen and paper and fling open that door, fearlessly facing the never-quite-forgotten. Do this with a strong sense of hope and confidence that your exploration will result in a feast of flavorful story (perhaps for an audience of one), freeing you from the tyranny of secrecy, and you’ll experience significant health benefits as a result.

Don’t be surprised if your emotional temperature begins to rise as you explore this mental manure. Before mushroom spore is planted in horse by-product, the offal must ferment or “cure” for three to five weeks. The pile becomes quite hot in this process, killing harmful organisms like weed seeds and pathogens. Mental manure has a similar effect. It’s quite common to feel some distress as you recall dark, upsetting memories and events. When you’re done, the memory is “cured,” and succulent Truth mushrooms can grow from it.

Rest assured as you do, this is a sign the process is working, and after three to five days, your mushrooms will be planted. It will be time to shut off the cave again and let the mushroom stories grow and mature. Go outdoors and bask in the light. By the way, writing about happy positive memories has been shown to have the same health benefits as writing about dark ones.

After a suitable period of time, recheck your cave, and don’t be surprised to find a long list of stories ready to be transcribed.

Here’s a link to a collection of blog posts about the Pennebaker research and process and how to use it, along with others related to mining those mental mushrooms.

Write now: make a list of ten memories you could use as manure for growing mushrooms. Set aside some time to begin curing your compost and get started.

Photo credits:

Mushroom cave: ChestofBooks.com

Portabello Bake: Jules.stonesoup

1000 Ways to Describe a Feeling

Would you believe there are more than 1000 words and phrases to describe feelings. 1000? That's right. And most are single words. I've compiled a list of that many. The list does not include any metaphors, and undoubtedly there are at least another hundred words not there.

The list has history. It began in June 2007 when I read a blog post that prompted me to ask people to send me lists of emotion labels. Results poured in as friends and readers submitted lists with hundreds of words and phrases. It took a bit of doing to compile them all and eliminate the duplicates. I was fascinated to see how little overlap there was among the various lists. I've since had several classes make lists as an exercise, and the master list continued to grow. Now that it has reached the 1000 mark, it's ready for public consumption. If you think of any words not listed there, please send them to me so it can continue to grow!

You may wonder why it matters to know all these words. Generally speaking, it doesn't. But it's an amazing thing to read over this list and realize the infinite variability of both the English language and our ability to experience nuances of emotion. Reading the list will surely heighten awareness of your internal state, and that's a good thing. Research has shown that labeling emotion calms the brain and helps the stories form that make sense of our experience.

Increased awareness of emotional state will also give you more response options, widen your perspective, and prompt greater levels of personal insight.

As icing on the cake, all those extra words will make you a stronger writer by adding variety and precision to your stories and depth to your perception.

Who can afford to ignore this list? Right-click this link to download the file.

Write now: write a story about an emotional event and use several new words to describe your feelings in exquisite detail.

Writing Makes You Feel Better

Neuroscience is now validating what journal writers have known for ages: writing makes you feel better.

Brain researcher Matthew Lieberman does cutting-edge research in the UCLA Social-Cognitive Neurosciences lab, and although his primary focus is on language in thinking, much of it has fascinating implications about the possibility of using various forms of writing to reframe the way we view the world. Here’s a thumbnail summary of his overall findings:

When our brain is running on auto-pilot, the amygdala and basal ganglia (X system, for refleXive) sort input with lightning speed to produce reflexive responses to known stimuli. When something new pops up, the amygdala stalls out and a cluster of the anterior cintulate cortex, prefrontal cortex and medial temporal lobe (C system for refleCtive) kick in to reflect on the situation and select a contextually appropriate response.

The X and C systems are hard-wired with an “either-or” switch. They can’t both run at the same time. So when we are in a constantly changing environment, the C system stays on most of the time. Recent research has shown that using language activates the C system, even when the X system is on track. Behavioral responses (overt displays of biochemical surge-induced emotions such as  facial expression and language) are moderated when they stream through the C system.

These results suggest that writing about memories establishes new cause-and-effect relationships and reprograms the amygdala, eventually creating new response patterns and reducing stress. James Pennebaker’s seminal research and the myriad follow-on projects clearly demonstrate that writing about traumatic memories defuses them, but doesn't tell how that works

Lieberman joined the crowd replicating Pennebaker’s research with the addition of brain scans and explains the results. "Writing seems to help the brain regulate emotion unintentionally. Whether it's writing things down in a diary, writing bad poetry, or making up song lyrics that should never be played on the radio, it seems to help people emotionally," Dr Lieberman said.

Write now: pull out your journal or blank paper and write about something distressing or puzzling. Write about it three or four times on different days until it begins to make sense in a new light. Dr. Pennebaker's guidelines are here if you want further guidance.

A Tour of the Scars

In an idle moment I sit staring at my finger. Wasn't there a scar on that one? Where a slipping putty knife ... I'll spare you the details. The point is that I had to look long and hard to find a trace of that ugly scar from not all that many years ago.

I turn my attention to my knees. One puckery scar from early girlhood is still there, much smaller now than it was fifty some years ago, and the other is gone entirely. Once upon a time I recalled the occasions on which I skinned those knees, even to the perverse pleasure of picking at the scabs until they eventually flaked off to reveal fresh pink skin underneath. I still recall picking at the scabs, and the pain of having the knees scrubbed clean and swabbed with red-orange merthiolate, but the specifics of the wounds are long forgotten.

A small scar on my left jaw is an inch away that its original location. That one is the reminder — when I look in my side-view mirror — of the cyst that settled there, the cyst that I passed off to a curious fourth-grade classmate as a mosquito bite. He didn’t buy that. That “bite” lasted for several months before my mother took me to the doctor in Santa Fe to have it removed.

A scar on my left inner forearm remains much as it has for nearly fifty years and reminds me of the day less than a week before my wedding when I was helping my father tie springs in a chair Mother was reupholstering. A spring slipped, gashing my arm as it flew forth, leaving something resembling the “quality check” mark on Darigold milk cartons. My father put his quality check mark on me, I decided.

I scan my shins. Which one has the nick from the corner of the dishwasher door? The nick that occurred one evening when we’d had company for dinner. I’d forgotten that both shins now have dishwasher door nicks. Which is which? I no longer remember, but the story lives on.

When I lift my bangs and hold my forehead up to the light, I can still see the faintest reminder of the day I thought I could stop a huge log rolling down the hill behind our house by grabbing the protruding limb. The log weighed nearly as much as I do, and the trip to the ER for stitches took hours, and they wouldn’t let my husband come into the examination room with me. “Sometimes people talk more freely without family members present,” was the explanation that not so subtly suggested that there could be another cause for this wound. I understood, and I'm still indignant, fifteen years later. 

How fascinating. Over time, most scars fade and shrink, but their stories live on. Our scars may be nature’s way of carving our stories into our very bodies, creating visual reminders we won’t soon forget.

Write now: conduct a tour of your scars. Record the story of each one and tell how you feel about the scar today. Do you hide it? Flaunt it? Resent it? Or maybe it’s a trophy?

Life Lessons from Life Writing

Punji Pensive, by Indi Samarajiva

Jamie’s sick, so I’ll have to fix a casserole to take over.

This is such a simple and typical thought — the type that generally passes unnoticed, or at least unquestioned. Lately I’ve begun to notice these thoughts and question them. Increasingly often as such thoughts begin to form, I pause and rethink the situation.

Is that true? Do I have to (fix a casserole, do the laundry, write a blog post) now?

Generally, the answer is No. I don’t absolutely have to do that. But I want to. Usually I’ll simply go ahead and do whatever it is, but because I stopped to think about it, I realize I do have a choice, and I do the task with more awareness and presence. Any hint of resentment fades. My life has gradually become more peaceful, more joyful, and less stressful as a result. For that I am enormously grateful.

What does this have to do with life writing? I’m convinced this powerful thought-habit sprang from journaling. This isn’t anyone’s fancy system. I’m a self-taught journal writer,  just “doing what comes naturally.” What comes naturally is to ask myself questions when I feel out of sorts or whiny about something.

“Is that true?” is my favorite one. “Are things really that bad?” “Is that so?” I write an appropriate question in third person, as if to someone else. Then I answer it. Sometimes I write two or three questions before I feel finished. It’s amazing what I’ve discovered. This technique works equally well for current things I’m whining about today, and things I’m still whining about fifty years later.

Once I got in the habit of using this technique in my journal, it began to seep out into my thoughts at other times, and you’ve read about the results. If I weren’t already convinced of the value of life writing in all forms, the results of this inadvertent experiment would prove it to me. Try it. You’ll like it!

Write now: promise yourself to spend ten minutes each day for the next ... week (or more — just keep it believable) writing about whatever is irritating you or causing you stress at the moment. You’re likely to get your best results with smaller things first while you build mental muscle. Whine your heart out on the page. Then write “Is that really true?” Think carefully, and write your answer without preconceived notions. Maybe it really is true! If it is, write “How else can you handle this?” or “What are your options?” Don’t wear yourself out. You don’t need to solve all the world’s problems. You are simply training yourself to think differently. To question your “have to” statements. I promise that if you stick with it, you are going to see some dramatic results in your thinking. You may not change your behavior, but you’re going to feel a lot happier about what you’re doing.

Accentuate the Positive

How often have you heard the mantra “Your problems are your best friends,” or some variation thereof? I could fill several pages without stopping as I listed all the reasons we should rejoice in our tribulations because they are such valuable learning opportunities and that sort of thing. Indeed, I even believe most of those reasons.

A variation of this advice carries over into lifewriting wisdom. Yours Truly joins such notables as Dr. James Pennebaker, Univ. of Texas Psychology Department chair and author of Writing to Heal, and Linda Joy Myers, Founder of the National Association of Memoir Writers and author of The Power of Memoir, in extolling the virtues of using stories about dark moments to give balance to a memoir or collection of vignettes. Experts agree that journaling or writing about traumas and difficulties is helpful for instilling insight, healing pain and anxiety, facilitating forgiveness and transforming lives.

Nothing in this post should be construed as negating that advice, but there is another side of that coin that has largely escaped notice. That’s the wisdom of “accentuating the positive.” Pennebaker’s initial research emphasized the value of writing about trauma, but as the years have passed, further research has shown that writing about happy events and memories has almost as much therapeutic value.

Dr. Martin Seligman, Director of the Positive Psychology Center at the Univ. of Pennsylvania and author of Authentic Happiness, has spent decades doing research on the health and other benefits of optimism and happiness. His research shows that these traits can be learned, and while he does not advocate denial, he does demonstrate that there is tremendous value in accentuating the positive.

To greatly oversimplify the vast sea of research in these areas, the results indicate that it is indeed beneficial to face problems and challenges squarely, and to do so with an optimistic attitude that it will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. It is equally valuable to write about our successes and moments of joy, and turn as much introspective attention to explore what we have been doing right and look for additional opportunities to do more of that.

If you don’t feel up to writing the tough stuff, don’t beat yourself up. Just keep writing. Write happy memories. Write fiction. Write anything at all, but do write — just for the health of it.

Celebrate success! Celebrate joy and happiness! Celebrate them in ink as stories, and refer back to them when skies and spirits are dark.

Write now: a story about one of your crowning successes or moments of great joy. Write about love and achievement. Wring your memory dry on this topic.

Grow Your Attitude of Gratitude

A few days ago my daughter told me about accepting a “Thankfulness Challenge.” She’s posting tiny “I’m thankful for ...” statements on Facebook at least once a day. After she told me this, I took a look. The instructions are simple:

Every day this month until Thanksgiving, think of one thing that you are thankful for and post it as your status. "Today I am thankful for..." The longer you do it, the harder it gets! Now if you think you can do it then repost this message ......as your status to invite others to take...the challenge, then post what YOU are thankful for today....

Then I checked her posts. They are tiny indeed. Typical ones include:

• Today I am thankful for deodorant.
• Today I am thankful for sarcasm.
• Today I am thankful that others have louder voices than mine.
• Today I am thankful for ear plugs ... helpful when the children are fighting over toys.
• Today, I am thankful that my husband did not die on mile 24 of his marathon -- no matter how much he thought he was going to.

I am taking the challenge too, though I’m doing it via Twitter and somewhat behind.

Rather interestingly, as Susan told me about the challenge, she remarked that one of her friends thought she’d have trouble finding enough things to be thankful for. Part of Susan’s purpose is to demonstrate to that friend and the world that thankfulness/gratitude can become a frame of reference for viewing the world, and we can be thankful for tiny little things. We can be thankful several times a day. Several times an hour. Almost constantly in fact.

Recording gratitude is not a new idea. Information about Gratitude Journals abounds. Sleepydust.net explains: “A gratitude journal is like a diary - but you're only allowed to write positive things in it. ...“

The Happy Guy interviewed expert Doreene Clement for advice on how to keep a Gratitude Journal and posted her detailed instructions here.

Reviewing a Gratitude Journal, or even gratitude posts in a regular journal, can brighten dreery days and lift us out of the doldrums. Recording gratitude strengthens the habit of thinking that way. It can even improve your health! Sharing gratitude with others, especially in tiny, credibly little bites like Susan is doing, infects others with a grateful spirit. The more of us doing that, the sooner the whole world will be wrapped in Gratitude, and that has to be a powerful thing.

I’m grateful that my daughter is spreading gratitude, and I’m grateful to Google for making free blog space available to the world. And (drum roll) ... I'm thankful for those who read my blog!

Write now: in the spirit of the season, make a list of things you are grateful for. Aim for at least a dozen off the top of your head, and look beyond the obvious. Make it a habit to jot down grateful thoughts at least once a day, and share them with the world at least now and then.

Connecting Dots

Generated by Stellarium 0.10.2

The urge to use stories to make sense of our lives and share them with others is hardwired into the human brain. Some of us write these stories, others tell them. Some of the stories are public, some are intensely private, told only to ourselves. Whatever their form or level of disclosure, we all have stories, and we begin telling them as language dawns.

In Child Development, Second Edition: A Practitioner's Guide, Douglas Davies states, “The stories of 2-year-olds...use narrative language to bring a personal sense of order and understanding to their experience.” He includes a transcripted story recorded by the parents of 28-month-old Emily. Her elaborate tale organized her understanding of a trip to the beach the following day.

My daughter was telling stories well before her second birthday. The first I remember was one she told me when she was 18 or 20 months old, as I was tucking her in: “Daddy go Dibby house. Play bridge.” She needed to explain why Daddy wasn't there for a night-night hug that night. That same daughter now shares her tiny girls'stories.

Using stories to make sense of the world and cosmos goes back to the dawn of civilization. All cultures have some story of origin, and stories of gods, reasons and seasons. We are reminded of these stories every time we look at the stars and see Orion, or the Dippers. The Greeks and Romans concocted elaborate myths around clusters of stars that they designated as constellations.

Constellations are a perfect metaphor for stories, because they involve connecting dots to create structures of meaning and insight. Toddlers use dots of knowledge, connecting them to build a structure for understanding life and self and make it predictable. Early man connected dots of light to explain the gods and cosmic events, and to find their way around the earth. Twelve constellations are still studied by students of the Zodiac to predict and explain world and personal events and make decisions.

Modern people have not changed so much as we might think from ancient times or early life. We still tell stories, to ourselves and each other. We tell them socially, on cell phones, by e-mail and by Tweeting. We tell them to friends. We tell them to strangers. Both stories and understanding grow and develop in the telling.

But told stories are soon forgotten. What better way to make enduring sense of our own lives than to get our fingers around a pen or on a keyboard and make some dots of memory visible, then connect those dots and develop a durable story? That's what memoir is all about ̶ compiling chaotic, random memories into a coherent, organized story that deepens our understanding and awareness of life, heals mind, body and soul, and gives us much to be grateful for ̶ and creates a legacy of story for future generations.

Write now: explore some of the stories you have written and look for dots of shared content that can be connected to create themes and structure.

The Life Writing Progression

The graphic above is fresh out of my head. You have never seen it before. I came up with it this afternoon as I worked on the handouts for a program titled Writing for the Health of it that I’m presenting in a couple of weeks. For some time I’ve been cogitating about how to pull together all the information and knowledge (there is a difference) I have on this topic. I had identified the categories in this graphic, but not until this afternoon did the pieces fit together so beautifully.

Each of these levels has health benefits. The "Raw Writing", especially the rants, has the most clearly demonstrated physical benefits, according to the hundreds of studies that have followed the pioneering work by James Pennebaker, PhD. I summarized this research in a previous post. The work of Kay Adams and members of the Center for Journal Therapy have clearly demonstrated the value of journaling, using dozens of specialized protocols. Kay has an amazing series of internet radio programs you can download and listen to if you are interested.

As far as I’m aware, nobody has scientifically studied and documented the value of writing stories and personal essays for physical health, but testimonials about its value for healing resentments, increasing self-esteem, lightening depression and similar thing are well known to anyone who teaches in this field.

Far fewer people engage upon the more rigorous undertaking of writing memoir, at least not beyond simple vignettes. Until recently, most people have thought of memoir primarily as a project to be undertaken primarily for the purpose of seeking publication. Why else would anyone undergo such a rigorous exercise? Since I became involved in the early stages of writing a memoir myself, I’ve come to see that sharing the finished story with others is a minor part of the value.

The more important value lies in examining a large collection of memories in an organized way, looking for the common threads that tie them together, finding meaning in unexpected places, and seeing my life as an ongoing arc of story. I’m finding more continuity than I expected, and am delighted to report that several old scabs have fallen off long-standing grievances, leaving no evidence of scar tissue below. Insight enables forgiveness and personal peace. Now, isn’t that worth investing some time in?

I have no plans to seek publication of my memoir project, but who knows? Neither Heather Summerhayes Cariou or Karen Walker had publication in mind when they began their memoirs, and ultimately their stories have emerged between covers, to the benefit of a growing number of readers. Both shout the healing power of memoir from the rooftops.

This graphic shows that memoir begins small, and develops in a predictable progression. If you sit down to write a memoir with no previous journaling or stack of vignettes, you’ll be combing back through memories, searching old letters, calendars and anything else you can find. And you’ll write stacks of vignettes and essays before they coalesce into a smoothly flowing story.

But you don’t have to progress to the stage of memoir to experience health benefits from writing. Much of the value can be derived from the simple act of ranting on paper, according to Pennebaker’s guidelines.