Onerous Grammar Rules Suspended

Lifewriters of the world, rejoice. In response to growing pressure from writers overwhelmed by the economic crisis and other stress sources, leading grammar authorities announced that many basic grammar rules that have plagued people for centuries are being suspended.

“These demands came partly from the burgeoning Print-On-Demand and related self-publishing venues. Authors seeking to gain control of their own destinies feel unfairly burdened by the need to have professional editing. This decision will allow them to maintain their integrity and self-respect as they churn out material that would have been considered deplorable even last year,” reports publishing industry expert Sasha Greinhaus.

“We hope to make writing fun again for ordinary people," quipped Jack Merrigeld, a critic noted for scalding rebukes of the grammatically inept. "I have seen the light. I've become awakened to the power of personal choice and freedom of expression.”

Typical of the rules suspended include

• The need for complete sentences. Thought fragments are fine. Just get those words on paper.

• Comma regulations. "Commas have always been the most baffling and misused piece of punctuation. Authors should use them whenever they feel appropriate and let it go at that."

• Dialogue formatting. Don't worry about those pesky quotation marks, or where the commas and question marks go. Just write what you want to say and let the reader puzzle it out.

• Dangling participles. "You've probably remember this phrase from school days and have no idea what it means. Now prepositions are fine to end sentences with."

More about this exciting news can be found on the website http://www.aprilfool.com.

Write now: do some freewriting by these new guidelines which have always been appropriate for freewriting. Maybe you'd like to write about April Fool jokes you have enjoyed through the years. Whatever you write about, have fun.