Help Them Look Beyond the Wrinkles

I’ve only known Bert for a couple of years, and not well at that. He’s well into his eighties, hard of hearing, saggy, sluggish and slow of speech. Until recently I thought of him as an old fuddy duddy.

That was before I saw pictures of a party at the Senior Center where Bert was part of the featured entertainment. I was gobsmacked to see Bert wearing a grass skirt and coconut shell bra. That was a sight guaranteed to make healthy eyes sore, but those pictures blasted that stereotypical fuddy duddy image to smithereens. This fellow still knows how to get a laugh and enjoy one! His sense of humor is obviously intact. Suddenly I want to know more about Bert. He has become a fascinating individual.

Facing up to evidence that I think in stereotypes is embarrassing. I have to remind myself that stereotypes are one of the mental mechanisms we use to make sense of the world, and we could hardly function without them. Our challenge is to remain aware of when they are in play and look beyond them.

Besides smashing a stereotype, those pictures reminded me of the importance of having both pictures and stories of our earlier versions visible to others as we age to remind the outside world of our continuing inner vitality. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren who only know us as “really old people,” are less likely to think of us (or even wonder about us) as vibrant, youthful people who were once as fully engaged in life as they are.

Our stories and pictures remind them to look beyond the wrinkles, extra padding and slow plod and find a sense of connection. Perhaps the most useful stories for this purpose are stories of pranks and hijinks. Kids love to hear of these, even if you end with, “Don’t you dare try that!”

What pranks did you pull when you were young? Did you ever cut class? What was your equivalent of tipping outhouses? What about college pranks? April Fool jokes? Did you tell ghost stories? Write about things like this and keep the young set grinning! You’ll have a great time, and probably some chuckles as you …

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal