Laughing and Learning

Every now and then lifestory writers need a humor break. The following lines have all been published, as written, in local newspapers. The unintentionally awkward phrasing in each is guaranteed to get at least a snicker. Perhaps you can think of ways to reword them for improved clarity and precision. The best way to avoid similar sources of hilarity in your own stories is to let them age for at least two or three weeks before your final edit, or to have someone else proof read them for you.

• Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.


• For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.


• Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.


• Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.


• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.


• Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.


• The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.


• Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.


• Man, honest. Will take anything.


• Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.


• Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!


• Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.


• Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal